Vampires vs Werewolves (2)
Tracy: That's Benjamin Percy, who writes novels and Marvel comics. He's researched and written a lot about werewolves.
Now, in some stories and myths, being a werewolf is called a curse, which I disagreewith...because, like in other stories, it's a total super power.
Percy: If you think about straight up superhero characteristics, you've got great hearing, super sight, super smell, you're really strong, can tear stuff apart...
Tracy: Sometimes werewolves have to wait until a full moon to shapeshift from a human to a wolf, but not always -- there are lots of stories where they can change on demand. Like, snap your fingers, and BOOM. Wolf-time.
Percy: The story of the werewolf is no different than the story of the Incredible Hulk.
Tracy: This makes werewolves basically superheroes.
Werewolves are also super in touch with nature. Sometimes our lives can get kind of overwhelming with all of our phones and our texts and our Zoom calls and honestly...who doesn't just want to take a long walk...maybe a run...outside, through the trees, while covered in fur?
Lucey: Contrast: vampires suck the living life of others, they give nothing back. And therefore werewolves are much truer to the natural world.
Tracy: You might be asking: Why a werewolf? Why not a were-elephant? Or a were-hamster? First of all, absolutely no one wants to be a werehamster. And werewolves are amazing because wolves themselves are fierce, they're brave, they're loyal -- they also look out for each other, and travel as a pack. They are definitely the crew you want.
Plus in other cultures around the world, there's not only werewolves: There are stories about turning into all kinds of powerful animals, like tigers, or my favorite: were-bears. Like a werewolf, but a bear.
But another cool thing about werewolves, on top of the shapeshifting, the superpowers, and the time out in nature, the really tight crew of friends, and your were-bear cousins... is that, deep down inside we're all a little bit werewolves.
Percy: We've all had that moment right when our temper gets the better of us and we kind of freak out...the story of the werewolf is a metaphor for that.
Tracy: We've all wolfed out at some point in our lives: We've howled out loud because we're angry, and we've jumped off the back of the couch and we've torn through the house, and we've just wanted to run out into the woods to get away from everybody. We've been super, super hangry. We've broken into a shepherd's fields and eaten three sheep in one night...ok, maybe not that last one for everyone. But that's where werewolf stories come from: all those times where you just can't take it anymore! We feel like we just can't fit in with everything that people expect from us! So we let loose! We become--
Lucey: The animal within us that is actually truer to ourselves.
Tracy: WEREWOLVES!
It's this amazing double life: you've got your normal side, and when you need it, your wild side!
You can walk around outside in the sunlight -- ahem, looking at you, vampires -- but you also get to run howling through the woods at night!
Your majestic fur is blowing in the wind, you've got super speed, super strength, super smell...you can shapeshift as you please (or, maybe you have to wait for the moon), and you get to just CUT LOOSE when you need a break from the world, and let it all go: AWOOOOO!
Plus, let's not forget: You're not DEAD -- ahem, looking at you again vampires. Not being dead seems like a pretty good perk!
Werewolves forever.
(music)
Molly: That was a super powered declaration of greatness for werewolves and I feel like probably all of our listeners right now just want to go (howls).
Kate: (howls) I loved that. I liked hearing a little bit about the history of werewolf stories. Also, I think I'd be hilarious to be a Werehamster.
Molly: (laughs) They're not making your job easy.
Kate: No, it's really not easy, no.
Molly: Let's hear what Anna has to say to try to sway you. Anna, you have 30 seconds to make your rebuttal. What were the weaknesses in team werewolves' declaration? Your time starts now.
(clock ticking)
Anna: First of all, you're sleeping in your bed and then you feel itchy and your nails get dirty and long. Your clothes don't fit anymore and you break through your window. Who's going to clean up that glass? You're not going to do it and I'm sorry, did you say you interviewed Ben Percy because I'm pretty sure that was Darth Vader and I don't understand why Darth Vader is talking about werewolves. Thirdly, you never said why werewolves change. What is the purpose of turning into an animal, besides being in touch with nature and fourthly, Kate, thank you for bringing this up, I have a cousin who's a werehamster and he's a really nice guy, So I resent you saying that no one would want to be one.
Molly: And time. (laughter) Kate, it's time to award your first points.
Kate: Oh, my gosh.
Molly: Remember we're asking you to judge based on one simple thing. Which one is cooler? One point for whoever had the best declaration of greatness and another point for whoever's rebuttal won you over.
Kate: I've awarded the points.
(bell rings)
Molly: Was it a tough decision?
Kate: It was tough, but I feel confident.
Molly: All right, it's time for a quick break. Get your howls out. Drink some blood, whatever you need to do.
Kate: And we'll be back with more Smash Boom Best.
(music)
Todd: Todd Douglas here, along with 235-time debate champ, Taylor Lincoln!
Taylor: (cheerleader-esque chant) I'm one of the greats when it comes to debate!
Todd: Yeah...
Taylor: (still chanting) Catchin' freaky fallacies, I set debaters straight!
TODD: As do I...
TAYLOR: (laughs) Come on, Todd! Cheer with me!
TODD: Maybe later...?
TAYLOR: But Todd won't take the bait! (laughing) Alright, so. I just caught two teenage girls in the bandstands of a high school in Palm Desert debating whether they should have to wear uniforms to school or not.
TODD: Uniform or buck the norm?
TAYLOR: Yeah, Todd! You're getting the hang of it!
TODD: I know, I know. Just get on with it.
TAYLOR: Okay, listen closely now, cuz one of them makes a big ol' debate mistake--
TODD: Now roll that TAPE!
SANDY: These uniforms are the wooooorrrrsssstttt. I want to express my style at school!
TASHA: I kinda like them. And you've got such a cool style at school, Sandy. You wear the coolest headbands!
SANDY: Thanks Tasha, but you LIKE uniforms?
TASHA: Yeah! Cuz I don't have to think about what to wear in the morning, or if my clothes are nice enough.
SANDY: Tasha, uniforms are so obviously bad. Why else would Kara and Penelope and Rashida and Lacey and Simone and Zsa Zsa and Carlita and Monique and Rachelle -- ALL hate them?? Get with the program.
TASHA: Just because those girls don't like uniforms doesn't mean they're “bad.”
(DING DING DING!)
TAYLOR: Go Tasha! Go Tasha! Uh uh. Go Tasha! She's right! Sandy's argument was totally weak-sauce!
TODD: Yep. She used a logical fallacy. Logical fallacies are big-time debate mistakes that make it easier for your opponent to Take. Your. Arguments. Out!
TAYLOR: Yeah. Sandy just used the bandwagon fallacy. That's when you argue that something is true or defensible because it's popular.
TODD: Just because something is popular doesn't make it right or true.
TAYLOR: Let's see how Tasha takes advantage of Sandy's mistake.
SANDY: Tasha, uniforms are so obviously bad. Why else would Kara and Penelope and Rashida and Lacey and Simone and Zsa Zsa and Carlita and Monique and Rachelle -- ALL hate them?? Get with the program.
TASHA: Just because those girls don't like uniforms doesn't mean they're “bad.” That's a weak argument. Uniforms create a sense of community, and they make it easier to focus in class. Plus, uniforms promote equality since everyone is wearing the same thing.
TAYLOR: Bada-boom. Tasha came back with a great rebuttal!
Todd: Very nice work on Tasha's part. What do you think, debate-heads? Are uniforms a good idea? Or a terrible one?
TAYLOR: It's a tough topic, so prepare your arguments! And we'll catch you next time on…
TAYLOR/TODD: (in unison) STATE OF DEBATE!
Molly: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host Molly Bloom.
Kate: And I'm your judge, Kate.
Molly: One of my favorite things about this show is all the amazing debate ideas we get from listeners like you. Check out this awesome debate suggestion from Joseph in Saint Louis, Missouri.
Joseph: My debate idea is humans versus robots.
Molly: We'll check back with Joseph at the end of this episode to see which side he thinks should win.
Kate: Now it's back to our debate of the day, vampires versus werewolves.
Molly: That's right and it's time for round two the-
Announcer: Micro Round.
Molly: For this challenge, we asked Tracy and Anna to write up a roommate listing for their side. The idea of living with either creature is a little bit scary, so Anna and Tracy really had to turn on the charm for this challenge. Anna went first last time, so Tracy, you're up. Let's hear your winning roommate listing for werewolves.
Tracy: Very friendly totally normal human (most of the time) seeks roommate who is not allergic to wol--uh, to dogs
Calling all roomies who love a midnight snack! A little about me: I have long, long, long brown hair, I'm a big runner, and I'm always out late, so you'll have the place to yourself a lot!
I keep the fridge stocked with a LOT of food because who doesn't get hangry once in a while? I have a super great vacuum to keep things really clean and free of...uh, dog hair, from...my...dog. She stays in my room, you'll never see her, don't worry about it, if you hear anything snarling, it's just my dog, don't go in there.
If you need help moving your couch or anything heavy I can get that for you, one-handed! I love monster movie marathons, trading hair care tips, and looking at the stars on a moonless night. Big fave. I'm looking for someone who smells good, likes to let loose, and doesn't ask a lot of questions!
Molly: (laughs) Excellent. So Kate, sound like a good roommate?
Kate: Yes, it sounds like one of the perfect roommates if you're going to keep the house clean. Also the hair care tips, I have curly hair. Sounds like a pretty solid roommate and I can't wait to hear from vampires.
Molly: All right, Anna, let's hear how a vampire might try to woo a new roommate.
Dracula: Ok listen up Facebook Ticki Tockies Twit-Grammers - I'm looking for someone to move into my lair, ok you are not going to want to give up this opportunity it is once in a lifetime opportunity - my layer has everything, ok? It's got darkness, it's cold, you can have a coffin right next to mine, and we sleep all day and we will laugh all night staying up watching our favorite comedy shows and drinking blood…...um, orange juice, blood orange juice, the juice from a blood orange, and yes you have to move to Transylvania ok but it's a wonderful place to live and if you do a good job as my roommate I will turn you into vampire, ok, and then you live forever with me and we split utilities 50/50, ok yes? Your answer is yes? Great here is your key thank you good chat, ok bye new roommate, love you, best friends for life. And death (giggles).
Molly: Wow, Dracula is very charming.
